Do Your Money Beliefs Help You or Hurt You?: 4 steps to Radically Alter Your Money Mindset

Today I’m getting real about a topic that can be weird and uncomfortable and surprisingly personal: Money.

Like most things I teach, I’m often the guinea pig. And like most people, money is complicated for me.

Now, don’t worry, this is not going to be an article about manifesting, I promise I won’t use the word universe and we aren’t going to talk about the vibrations or energy of the dollar bill. Nothing against those terms, but I want to keep things a little more concrete and it’s simply this: the way we think about money matters.

So without further adieu, I’m going to get money naked right now so you can see how it’s done. And to be perfectly honest, this is not something I’m jumping up and down, excited to share with the world. But I always try to live what I teach, so here we go…4 steps to radically alter your money mindset.

Step 1: Brainstorm My Money Beliefs

The only way to really change how you think about money is to be aware of how you think of it now. Not in a vague sense- ‘uhhh, yeah I like money’ or ‘ughhh money stresses me out’  but more specifically. For example, ask yourself this:

• What beliefs about money follow you around from one day to the next?
• Where do these beliefs come from?
• Do these beliefs serve you well in your life? Do they help you or hurt you as you work towards your goals?

I grew up in a very middle class family; we had what we needed but there were no nice cars, fancy vacations or even eating out. We had food and soccer cleats and some new school clothes every September but there was no excess. I was definitely aware of this; the 8 year old kid up the street with their own battery operated car is forever seared in my memory. It was a red jeep convertible in case you were wondering.

While part of me pined to be spoiled, I also remember really clearly being inspired by the stories of my family and the challenges they faced. Do you have these stories too?

My parents both worked for social causes- my mother as a public health nurse visiting new mothers, my father as a social worker. In fact, they met on the streets of Seattle as they both were making house visits to families in need.

I knew this story. I also knew that my grandparents and great aunt and uncles, first generation Americans, all started small businesses in the farm country my father grew up in. And that my maternal grandmother worked her way through college and even supported my grandfather as he got his doctorate. My other grandfather had grown up as a rancher in Eastern Washington supporting his family by the age of 12 and then going on to be a self-taught chemist.

I grew up with these stories of sacrifice and hard work and I felt a lot of pride knowing my family wasn’t sitting around waiting for their trust fund checks to cash. There is something inspiring about knowing that the toil and challenges of life have been faced before- by people that share your blood.

It’s humbling and motivating and I’m forever grateful for that. It helped me tremendously in sports and in life.

But as I’m getting older, and making more money, I’m also realizing that I have some limiting stories around money and success that go something like this:

• You can either help people or make money.
• Making money is really hard and if you aren’t struggling, you probably don’t deserve it.
• There is never enough money to really feel secure.

So I’m working on challenging these thoughts, but also in a way that maintains all the ‘good’ stuff. For example:

• I want to KEEP my strong work ethic and maintain humility.
• I like that I take pride and joy in being value conscious- I don’t ever want to lose my excitement over a free $2 bus ride or finding an extra 10% off coupon on TOP of the 2 for 1 I’m already getting. Yes, I’m THAT girl.
• I want to keep the mentality of saving– I want to teach my daughter to max out her Roth IRA every year even if it would be way more fun to spend it elsewhere.
• Even as a build a for-profit business, it is NOT all about money. I will always give my time and resources for free to deserving people. Someone(s) helped me along the way and I will pay it forward when I can.

Step 2,3,4

Identify your specific thoughts around money; the beliefs that you think of as ‘true’ statements around money (I did this above as well). Then after each statement, challenge these thoughts, even if for a few minutes, just to test how ‘true’ they are. Finally, if necessary, replace these thoughts with something else that is more helpful.

Belief: You can either help people or make money.

Challenge: Really? Because I’ve seen a lot of successful people that inspire others to greatness AND make a great living. Oprah for example or Tony Robbins. The Spanx lady has employed 10,000s of people while making a billion dollars! Mark Cuban helps people create business that truly change people’s lives. Bill and Melinda Gates are completely changing the landscape of health care around the world. It is true that many traditional ‘helping’ jobs are not going to get you rich but it’s not a zero sum game… one CAN choose both.

Replacement Statement: I help and inspire people in an authentic way while also providing wealth and abundance for my family.

Belief: Making money is really hard and if you aren’t struggling, you probably don’t deserve it.

Challenge: Even in my own life, there are times when I’ve actually worked WAY less and made WAY more money. Work and time are much more fluid concepts than I’ve let myself believe and the ebb and flow of work and rest are an important part of moving forward. If I am truly following my heart and truly helping people, I deserve to bring value, security and yes, even nice things that bring me comfort or pleasure into my life as well.

Do I feel guilty when I make money and someone else works 2 jobs at minimum wage just to make ends meet? Yes, I do. Is that an entirely bad thing to realize? No, I don’t think it is. Being aware of the challenges others face is important to me. But I have to realize that holding myself back or feeling guilty for no reason does NOTHING good for anyone else. Give back in a way that matters (volunteer, donate, advocate) not with empty feelings- they don’t do anyone any good.

Replacement Statement: Only when I truly let my full light shine can I hope to bring goodness into the world.

Belief: There is never enough money to really feel secure.

Challenge: I don’t know if it’s true but I heard once that the difference between rich people and poor people is that poor people think of money as something to hold on to, while rich people think of it as something to invest with. For me at least, the feeling of security is less about how much money I have and more about how in control I feel about where it is going. AND it’s about realizing that money for me is not taking money away from someone else.

When I spend I want to have a healthy respect for money but keep a mindset of ‘there is more where this came from” and ‘this is an investment in my future/happiness/fulfillment/freedom etc.” This might be in hiring a coach or delegating more things to my staff, or hiring a house cleaner. And it also includes giving away money to causes and charities I believe in because its the right thing to do. All of this opens me up to money being a fluid part of my life that is meant to be spent in ways I care about.

Replacement Statement: There is more where this came from. This is an investment in my future/happiness/fulfillment/etc

So there you have it. Some of you will read this article all the way to the end and think ‘interesting’. Some of you will think “I should do this exercise….someday’. and a few of you will take out your calendar and write in 20-30 minutes today or tomorrow titled “Money Mindset Exercise” and actually DO it. Which one are you?

Here is a quick recap of the steps:

Step 1: Brainstorm your beliefs about money.

• What beliefs about money follow you around from one day to the next?
• Where do these beliefs come from?
• Do these beliefs serve you well in your life? Do they help you or hurt you as you work towards your goals?

Step 2: Identify your specific thoughts around money; the beliefs that you think of as ‘true’ statements around money.

Step 3: After each statement, challenge these thoughts, even if for a few minutes, just to test how ‘true’ they are.

Step 4: If necessary, replace these thoughts with something else that is more helpful.

Here’s to YOUR money mindset transformation!

best,

Lindsey

P.s. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. Do you think you have some limiting mindsets around money? Do you have some mindsets that are helping you? Share below!

p.p.s. Remember, keep in mind that you can also replace money with ‘love/relationships’, happiness, living a healthy lifestyle etc.